At War with the Destroyer #3 – Sexual Immorality #1:
“The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.” (John 10:10).
We’re in a war against the DESTROYER. He wants to keep you from knowing God, and obeying Christ. SIN IS NOT JUST A BAD HABIT – IT WILL KILL YOU! That’s why the Bible says, “Be careful. Watch out for attacks from the Devil, your great enemy. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for some victim to devour.” (1 Peter 5:8). Today we’re going to look at the devil’s trap of SEXUAL IMMORALITY.
Read this TRUE STORY about my youngest sister, Jodi, as told in her own words…
When I was fifteen years old, my boyfriend and decided that we were ready to have sex. We were young and “in love” so we thought it was okay. We had no idea how big of a difference it would make. Emotionally I knew I was not ready. I was confused and unsure about what we were planning to do but I felt like I had to do it or I would lose him. So, one day when we were all alone, we did it. It was the most awkward experience of my life. It hurt, it was uncomfortable both physically and mentally, and it was nothing like I had hoped or imagined it would be. When it was over, things were very tense and awkward between us. It was like for the first time in our relationship we had nothing to say to each other. He left soon after and when he did I went to my bedroom and cried. Emotionally I was a wreck. I had all these emotions of confusion, and hurt, and guilt, and insecurity. That night when I was having supper with my parents, I was messed up. I thought they could tell just by looking at me that I had had sex. I was sure they knew and I felt guilty. I was sheepish and jumpy. We had used protection, but that is never fool proof. I was worried and stressed out and panicking. I was not sleeping very well at night, and every time my mother looked at me I was sure she knew.
For the next couple of weeks it seemed like every time we were alone he wanted to have sex. We weren’t always “careful” but we figured (as I am sure most people do) “It can’t happen to us.” But it did. I was pregnant. I was fifteen years old and pregnant. That was the hardest thing I have ever had to face. Sitting down with my parents and talking about it was horrible. My Mom cried and my Dad got mad. They were very disappointed. It was very hard to see my Mom crying. I think I would have preferred to have her yell at me. I couldn’t even look her in the eyes for the longest time. Shortly after Christmas of that year, when I was about three months pregnant I decided it was time to tell my friends. At first everyone thought it was pretty cool, but within four months I had gone to having one good friend. I couldn’t say why – I don’t know if they were embarrassed to be with me, or if they thought they were too good for me, or if they simply had no more time for me. When I was six months pregnant, right around the time I started to show, my boyfriend and I started fighting all the time. He seemed to avoid spending time with me and seemed to spend all his time with his guy friends. Finally one night on the phone we had a huge fight and he broke up with me. I was devastated. I felt like I was losing everything. I had lost most of my friends and now I was losing the father of my child. I did not take it very well. Within a week he was dating someone else.
Pregnancy is a very difficult thing under the best of circumstances. To do it pretty much alone at the age of sixteen (I had turned 16 when I was about three months along) is an unbelievable burden. People stare, people talk, people think badly of you. You think badly of yourself. You are hurt, and confused, and upset, and angry… After having the baby, things were tough. If you think high school is hard, imagine having a newborn baby to contend with. Imagine trying to study for exams while your baby is up all night crying and screaming her heart out. Imagine trying to concentrate on schoolwork when your baby is sick or you are tired because you were up all night again. After having my baby, my self-esteem went rock bottom. I never thought I was good enough for anyone or anything. I had a hard time making friends when I started school in the fall (I had switched to a school that had a special class for pregnant and parenting teens). Your life changes completely when you have a baby. Your life revolves around this little life that depends on you for everything. It is not like babysitting. The parents aren’t going to show up and drive you home and pay you for your time. It is permanent. And it is not easy. I would never give up my child, but if I could give just one piece of advice, it would be to wait. The effects and consequences are just not worth it.
I’ll continue this topic tomorrow, but please, take the words of my sister to heart, and learn from her story. God wants you to wait until you get married to have sex. When you’re willing to wait – to do it God’s way – you can count on His protection from all the pain and heartache that comes along with premarital sex.
Pastor Chris Jordan